Sasodei part 13

Another muffled wail came from Deidara's mouth. If only he were deaf. If only he could block his ears from picking up anything he didn’t want to hear. If. Meaning he had to listen to what his partner was saying. In a mad attempt to get him to shut up he flung a pillow projectile at the human puppet, unable to aim because his vision being blocked by the pillow. 'Be quiet, un,' he whined. Due to his face being, in essence, squished into the pillow, the last phrase came out of "Ee iet, uh."
Which was probably highly understandably to the red head.
As another endeavour to block out his hearing, he covered his ears with his only remaining pillow, but to no prevail.
Then came the knock on the door. Being too busy preventing his ears from working, the sculptor made no move to get up a go answer it, so as a sign for his dear sweet Danna to go see to whoever was waiting behind the door he simply waved his arm at it. Oops. Wrong arm. Thus making the sculptor to practically scream into the pillow. Okay…maybe his Uchihasmashed limb still wasn't useable.

However, as soon as the socks were out of Kakuzu's hands whilst said immortal got ready for a nice little nap... Ah, yes.

Hidan again went on a bit of a verbal rampage. "Kakuzu, you PRICK! WHY DID YOU LET ZETSU BORROW MY FUCKING BODY?! DAMNIT! I probably don't even HAVE a body anymore!"

The stitched man sighed irritably, pondering whether or not he should throw the Jashinist's head back down into the basement where it had been before... It had been so peaceful. "He's just making sure it doesn't rot and start to stink like fuck or something. I'll get it later. Now... Shut up, or I'll shove the socks I'm currently wearing into your fucking mouth."

... That definitely got the silver-haired man to go silent.

Sasori snickered quietly at the muffled little wail, an eerie grin making it's way onto his face. Yep, torturing Deidara was so---

Poomph! Face full'a pillow. He hadn't seen that coming. The red-head blinked owlishly when the pillow fell from being in his face, into his lap, and the muffled, mangled words reached his ears. His grin turned even creepier, if that were possible. Time to scare the clay artist shitless, take ---

His creepy grin turned upside down when someone knocked on the door. He half-heartedly glared at his partner when said blond motioned for him to go answer it - though the glare turned amused as the scream-like muffled noise danced through the air. Served him right.

But, anyway - the door. With a rather irritated sigh, the puppet - carrying the bag protectively along with him - got up from his bed and made his way over, opening it. And coming face-to-face with... Zetsu. Crap.

Said cannibal plant man simply stared at him for a moment before a somewhat disturbing look washed over him. This wasn't gunna be good.

"You and Deidara..." His light half started, although his dark half quickly took over. "We need to talk to both of you... About that fairy thing..." Again, his lighter half cut in. "Tobi wants to see fairies... Pretty-" the plantman paused and glanced over in the general direction of the two immortal's rooms when he heard his name, before continuing, looking back to the one who had answered the door. "- fairies..."

Oh, fuck.

Both halves continued simultaneously, for once. "We want you two to dress up... And we won't take no for an answer."

If it wouldn't be a totally useless gesture, the puppeteer would have slammed the door in the cannibal's face right then and there. Instead, he simply stared. Surely he wasn't serious...

Hn. So his little gesture seemed to work and make Sasori go answer the door. Once the door was open, Deidara turned his head a little to see who was there. And namely, what the hell they wanted.
Upon seeing the cannibalistic plantman, his reaction seemed to mimic that of his partner's.
So…to pretend he was asleep or something, he resubmerged his face into the pillow again. He was now taking back all his previous thoughts about wishing to be deaf and scolding himself for daring to even think about such irrational things.
Well…maybe his idea of being able to stop his hearing every now and again wasn’t something to be shunned.
Maybe Zetsu was just there coz he was looking for Tobi. Even though…finding the masked man wouldn’t be particularly hard now, would it?
Ah crap. So the schizo had somehow found out. Though the blond guessed that Tobi had told him.
Stupid Tobi…
Though he carried on listening to Zetsu's little "request." Oh…the fairy thing? Why the fuck hadn’t the flytrap dude told the Uchiha that fairies didn’t exist? It would’ve been so much easier…for the two artists that is.
Pretty fairies? Why not go get Itachi. He wouldn't resign. That kid was in love with himself and knew he was pretty. But Deidara couldn't help but feel a little…hopeful. Hopeful that his partner would agree. Because he thought the puppet was pretty. And…secretly wanted to see him in a fairy outfit.
If this order wasn’t going to be for Tobi, he probably would've agreed straight away. It was just the fact that it was for him that made the blond's skin crawl.

Sasori peered over his shoulder, back at his supposedly sleeping partner, Deidara. Ugh... It didn't look like he was going to get any help from him... He was going to have to face Zetsu and his... Odd... Little 'request' alone until 'game time' came. Great. Just great. Maybe he could fake his death earlier than planned. Though that would throw off the whole seven days thing...

Goddamnit. He looked back to the cannibalistic plantman in front of him, eyes narrowing at said plant's rather expectant look. Hmph. If he did say no, the flytrap would probably threaten to eat the blond and stick him with Tobi. That would suck even more... At least dressing up was temporary. As long as Tobi didn't try anything... That would be just creepy. Even for the puppet. "... Fine."

Zetsu's lighter half grinned slightly - though his dark half remained neutral, so it looked like a smirk, instead. "Perfect... We'll be back with the costumes tonight..." Tobi wouldn't have to wait after all. His plan was, so far, going perfectly well. He nodded just slightly before turning and going back down the hall; he had nothing more to do until that night. Might as well go check up on the garden.

The puppeteer shut the door none-too-gently after the walking-talking plant had left, spinning around and stalking back over to his bed, more-or-less... Pissed off. Well, that had backfired so damn well. They were going to have to wear dresses and dress like women...

... He was going to get to see Deidara in a dress.

The red-head fought the smirk that was threatening to form at that thought, collapsing back on his bed and looking over at the blond. Okay, so maybe it wouldn't be too bad. As long as they didn't have to put on make-up, high-heels and friggin' wings or 'perform' for the masked idiot in any way. "I hope you heard all that,"he muttered, dropping the bag beside him to grab the pillow the other artist had thrown at him before the plant came by and thus throwing the pillow projectile right back at him.

Stupid Sasori. He shouldn't've agreed. Deidara would much rather have had both his arms ripped off on different occasions and feed them both to Zetsu than dress up as a fairy.
Wow. Looked like he would be very excited about a certain mission that the two artists would have to accomplish very soon. A certain mission when one of those arms would be ripped off.
Luckily, he had mouths on both palms.
The blond sat up and grumbled under his breath. 'Un,' he muttered. He'd never dressed up as a woman before. That, or he just couldn't remember doing so. But people tend to do pretty crazy and embarrassing things during childhood, so who knows?
What was the plant man planning on giving them to wear? Skirts coming up to the thigh and low cut tops was a big no-no in little Deidei’s mind. Wait…where the hell was he planning on getting the clothes from? Surely, it's not every day when a dude that looks like he’s being eaten by a venus flytrap goes into a shop to buy two fairy outfits.
Being too caught up in his thoughts of what exactly Zetsu was going to make him wear, he hadn't been ready for his projectile pillow to backfire. The blue eyes narrowed on his partner. But in a jokey fashion more than an "I’m gunna fucking kill you" fashion.
Hmm…If this was going to work, he'd have to make the human puppet look a little bit more…presentable. With that, the sculptor reached into his hair and pulled out the red ribbon that tied up his ponytail and shook his head as the blond hair fell down. He then got up off his bed and made his way over to the other's bed. This was going to be fun.
Roughly, the blond took a clump of red hair and attempted to tie some of it up with the ribbon. Thank God the puppet had no physical feelings. If Sasori had been doing this to Deidara, screams of pain would probably have been heard throughout the whole building. 'Now I gotta give you some make-up, un!' he giggled.

Score! The puppeteer smirked at the expression the return pillow projectile had earned him before looking elsewhere, away from his partner. Namely, over to the closet he kept Hiruko and various other crap in. Perhaps he could throw together quick puppet and use chakra to make it look like him? That way, it technically wouldn't be him that would have to wear the dress... Though it would also require a lot of sneakiness on his part. Or just somehow coming up with a way to get Deidara out of the room for a moment...

Speaking of said blond. Sasori noticed him approaching much too late; out of the corner of his eyes he saw the other artist, hair down - which made him look infinitely more feminine than when it was down - then BAM. The idiot was doing something with his hair and that cursed ribbon used to keep that gravity-defying ponytail up, and though the puppet couldn't feel it, exactly, he could very well tell it was none too gently. Which just meant the sculptor was pretty damn lucky he couldn't feel it.

"Deidara. Stop it." The red-head growled, eyes narrowed to slits - he looked even more angry than he did when Zetsu had left after spouting his asinine, stupid little dress-up-for-Tobi thing. But who was this rage directed at, this time? Yeah, that was corr--- wait. What? Make-up!? Oh, hell no! A hand darted up to grab for one of the blond's wrists. He didn't care which one. As long as it made the idiot stop what he was doing...

Dressing like a girl, he could tolerate. Deidara messing with his hair... He could barely tolerate. Mentioning make-up and implying on using it on him? ... Cosmetics were one domain he refused to set foot into. Even jokingly.

Okay. So maybe losing both arms was a little bit more annoying than performing as fairies for Tobi. He winced slightly and pulled back and out of the puppeteer's grip to examine his wrist, which was now decorated with red marks. Ah, good. At least he wasn't going to suffer from two useless arms. His "good" arm seemed to have taken little damage.
His attention then returned to his now ponytailed partner. 'I was joking, un,' he insisted. Jeez. He really took the blithe-hearted things that the blond said too seriously.
Then he grinned. 'It suits you like that, un,' he giggled. Hm…maybe that wasn’t the wisest thing to say. It might eventually end up with him being hospitalised. But Deidara was in quite an annoying mood now. Even though most of the time these moods end in tears. And lots of them.
The blue eyes then moved to the plastic bag. Oh, how he wanted to steal it and look at the contents. But he prevented himself from doing so. Which was hard. 'Please show me what’s in there, un,' he whined pleadingly.

The puppet mentally sighed in slight relief, though was partially disappointed. He hadn't grabbed the blond's bad arm. Hmph - while it was a good thing in the way that he wouldn't have to listen to any whining or wailing or other occasionally pleasant sounds like that, it was also a bad thing. If only because causing his fellow artist a significant amount of pain and-or discomfort was pretty much the only way he knew how to get one of these little moods to pass.

He had sort-of known Deidara had been joking, but still. Sasori grumbled incoherant and probably unpleasant things under his breath, momentarily closing his eyes and shaking his head.

And then the sculptor just had to say that. The puppeteer's eyes snapped open to glare at his partner, reaching both hands up to hastily untie the vile ponytail. Hm. Perhaps he could strangle the brat with the ribbon, or something. He grinned cruelly at that thought...

Then scowled when he brought up the 'what's in the bag?' thing again. Okay, well, that was the straw that broke the proverbial camel's back. "No! Brat..." The red-head tossed the evil ribbon to the side, one hand grabbed the bag, the other grabbing a piece of wood from the pile just off to the side. A piece of wood which he chucked - and hard as he could - at the blond. "Shut up."

Hpmh. How dare Sasori treat Deidara’s beloved hair ribbon with such disrespect? Maybe it would’ve been a good idea to find some string instead of using his only ribbon on the puppeteer. But then again, he hadn’t really anticipated it to be manhandled. Maybe not manhandled, but that was how the blond saw it.
And maybe he should’ve just grabbed the bag and ran. Because its owner hadn’t protected it and it didn’t seem like the owner was particularly worried about it. He glared at the puppeteer again when he called him the “B” word again. ‘I’m not a brat!’ he announced, moving to pick up his poor and precious ribbon. Yeah, well, he would say that. Didn’t seem like he was able to imagine how he was perceived by his partner.
Crap! The blond quickly darted out the way of the wooden missile. It would’ve been okay if it was another pillow or something soft like that. But wood could kill people. Well…so could pillows, but whatever. Wood was harder and more damaging.
He quickly ran out of the projectile’s path and pouted. ‘Why’d you do that? That coulda really hurt, un!’ he exclaimed angrily.

Not a brat? Not a brat? Ha! The blond was the very definition of the word. Infact, in the red-head's current opinion of the brat, he was the walking definition incarnate! "You are too a brat, Deidara," the puppeteer muttered in an eerily calm voice. "You're annoying, impolite, and you act like a little whiney child." ... Well, he did. Sasori had more than enough proof to show the blond just how much of a brat he was, too!

The thrown wooden missile having not hit it's target disappointed the red-head. Oh well. There was more wood where that came from, and if need be, he'd beat the sculptor over the head with his own friggin' arm... Or go the easier root and just whack him upside the head normally, all limbs attached.

The living puppet stared, eyes half-lidded, expression pretty much one that could be read as simply 'duh', at his partner's stupid exclamation. "I did it to try to make you be quiet. Your voice is getting on my nerves," he answered as if it were obvious. He frowned slightly, looking over to where the thrown wood lay before turning his eyes back to the bratty blond. "And that would have been the point." After a short moment's pause, his brows rose slightly before he added one, simple word to what he had just said. "Brat."

If the puppet had been able to feel pain, the blond would've gone back over to him and slapped him repeatedly in the face. But this wasn't the case. Meaning he'd have to go slap Tobi or something. He needed to slap someone and make sure it hurt like fuck. Slapping Sasori would not help. He clenched his fist in fury.
Oh, how could he go and let off some steam? He could go outside and scream and beat the crap out of a tree. Yeah…that sounded good.
But first he needed to take care of something. Making his way over to the "nice" chart Deidara practically ripped the red marker off the wall to make a very long vertical line joining with the line that had previously been drawn.
And again the "B" word was mentioned. The sculptor shot an extremely icy gaze at the human puppet and held out a finger, pointing at him accusingly. 'IF YOU CALL ME A BRAT AGAIN I'LL FUCKING THROW YOU OUT THE WINDOW AND KILL YOU!' he screamed before stomping out of the room and slamming the door. Maybe a little bit too hard seeing as the top half of it fell clean off the hinge.
Now. Outside for a bit of anger relief and tree killing.

It was almost as fun to make his partner mad as it was to scare the fuck out of him.

The 'duh' expression melted away to a more apathetic, blank one while he watched Deidara go over to that evil little chart, grabbing the marker none too gently and adding a pretty red line to the one that was already there. A long red line. The living puppet refused to let himself worry about it, though. They'd gotten into worse arguments before, surely. The chart was just something new.

Though the uncaring front wavered for just a millisecond at the icy gaze and the rather loud threat. Apparently he pissed the sculptor off a heck of a lot. Was the word, 'brat', really that insulting? He continued to watch the blond as he stomped out of the room, eyes narrowing slightly when the door was slammed hard enough to damage it. He had a feeling that he was going to be the one that would have to fix that.

Tsk. While it was fun to make his partner mad, it also left him feeling a little... Eh, bad? Guilty? Something like that. Which was a conundrum, him supposedly being emotionless and all. It was more irritating than the blond who had just left, even.

Sasori sighed, almost expelling the agitation he held towards his partner with the breath, before peering down at the bag he gripped in one of his hands. Opening it and gently pulling out the plush, he stared at for a moment before shuffling over to the edge of his bed and standing. Now was as good a time as any, right? Maybe it would make that stupid feeling go away. He stepped over to the blond's bed, laying the plush on one of the pillows before making his way over to the closet. Time to go retrieve that ring puppet.

Meanwhile, in Hidan and Kakuzu's room...

The doorknob wannabe of a Jashinist rose a brow when he heard the screamed threat and the distinctive slam of a door. He snorted. "Lover's tiff, much?"

The only reply he got from his partner was a loud, obnoxious snore.

Ah, fresh air. That seemed to be all the blond needed. Perhaps killing a tree was just slightly irrational. Plus, he’d probably get a right earful from Zetsu afterwards.
He sat down on the grass recalling the things that had happened during this very eventful day. He’d had his arm "fixed" by Sasori, kissed him, been rejected by him, climbed up onto the roof for no particular reason, called his mother, had a nap, gone into the village, locked Tobi in the basement, had fun listening to him scream, been confronted about his feelings towards Sasori, been told he would have to be a fairy later and…then been repeatedly been called a brat.
Maybe it was that fact that he didn't like being treated like a child by his partner. Even though…he was way older than him. Heck, the word wasn’t even a swear word. It was just the principle, really.
What really bugged him was how he let the puppet insult him and be cruel to him…yet he still had feelings for him. Was Deidara just attracted to really mean guys? Urgh, now he was even more confused.
Okay. All better now. The blond got to his feet and went back inside. He wasn't planning on throwing the red head out of the window. Even though it was pretty obvious that he wouldn't.

He headed back upstairs, stalling a little. Now all he had to look forward to was playing dress up for Tobi. Even though it could turn out to be rather fun. Just as long as the masked twit didn’t ask for any magic tricks, thinking they were real fairies.

While the blond was out, Sasori had quickly retrieved a blank scroll from the closet and left the room, hurrying down the stairs to the ground floor.

Seeing that the coast was clear, he hurried down into the basement, only slowing his pace when the door was shut. And unlocked; he'd made sure of that. It definitely wouldn't be smart to lock oneself in the basement...

He peered about the room, frowning at the bloodstains left behind by Hidan's disembodied head and the little red mousetracks everywhere. Oh, and the paint. Sure, he had been the one to get the paint everywhere... But he wasn't gunna clean it up. No time. His gaze settled on the box before he made his way over to it, kicking it off to reveal the ring girl puppet.

The red-head sighed at the state it was in. It's face had been ruined - Tobi's doing - but... The girl from the movie wasn't the epitome of beauty to begin with. Other than that, it was covered in paint, and he was pretty damn sure the dress hid more damage from the night before. He crouched, spreading the scroll in front of him before doing several handseals resulting in the non-living puppet disappearing and a symbol being etched onto the paper. Perfect. Now he just had to find some alone time to fix it up just a little... Maybe add a few more life-like, gruesome details.

Now he had to go back to the bedroom and wait for Zetsu. As well as put the scroll in a safe, hidden spot. And, last but not least, try not to tease and provoke Deidara anymore until the whole fairy thing was over with. Two irritated 'fairies' and one annoying-ass idiot in one room together did not a good combination make.

The first thing that dawned on the blond upon re-entering the shared bedroom was that the puppeteer seemed to have gone walkabout. And there it was. The bag. The bag, which had been so carefully guarded, was now abandoned for Deidara to go find out what was actually in there.
But nothing of any interest lay within. Just a few bed sheets. Why the hell had Sasori gotten so protective over a few white bed sheets?
Feeling slightly foolish about getting so wound up about the contents of the bag, he turned back to his bed, where his eyes were then drawn to the plush toy that lay on one of his pillows. When did that get there?
Cautiously, the sculptor picked it up to examine it further. It looked remarkably similar to the bird, which had previously flown into him on the way to the village.
Deidara stood there, staring at the toy for a few moments. Then it clicked. Sasori had bought it for him. And that was what had been in the bag. But he still didn’t understand why the human puppet hadn’t just given it to him in the first place. It would’ve saved an argument.
The blond sat on the bed, cuddling his new toy. He’d take care of it. And treat it like a plush toy should be treated.

After rolling the scroll back up, tying it closed, and leaving the basement more-or-less in the mess that he had found it in, the red head sighed. Did he really want to go back to the room? Then again, last he knew, Deidara was out... And if Zetsu didn't find either of them there he'd just go hunting for them. Didn't help that the cannibal was good at that. Plus, if they by chance pissed off said cannibal, he'd probably eat Deidara and use him as a toothpick.

Which... Wouldn't be all that fun.

Sasori paused momentarily at the stairs before starting up them at his usual pace. It took him no time at all to reach the top, at which point he headed straight for the shared room, entering and closing the door behind him before looking into the room, finally noticing that Deidara apparently wasn't still out. And said blond the plush. Good. So long as he didn't ask about it.

The puppet, thus ignoring his partner's presence, quietly made his was over towards the closet. He'd hide the scroll in there. Wasn't like anyone rooted through it often, save for him.

Zetsu re-entered the house after his little garden check-up. Everything was fine; the recent rain meant he didn't have to water them. Hm... Now, aside from the dresses... What was he forgetting...

Ah! Right. Hidan's body. He had it up in his room - Kakuzu had let him take it in order to get it out of the way. And since, after nibbling on one of the Jashinist's fingers, it had been established that said religious fanatic didn't taste very well... He'd just left it on the floor. Might as well give it back.

And so, the cannibalistic plant started up for his room. Perhaps while he was there, he could also pick up the dresses.

Yes. Zetsu owned dresses. They used to belong to a few of his victims... But... Well. They didn't need them anymore. He knew they'd come in handy some day...